Raising Kinder Kids in a Crueler World

Contributed by Michele Borba, CEP Board Member

Proven tips to nurture compassionate children and reduce peer cruelty

Students at Salam School in Milwaukee, WI confront bullying in their school.

Last fall I was on the East Coast helping a small school district implement a character education program. My first meeting was with a district administrator to assess the students’ needs, and the discussion has haunted me ever since.

I began by inquiring about the district’s high school, but each student issue I addressed — drug use, attendance, gangs, test scores, school violence, racial tensions, and drinking — didn’t appear to be problems.

Although the high school was relatively small (about five hundred students), most other high schools had at least one of those issues as a concern, so I continued by asking about the students’ emotional needs. Again, the administrator shook his head, saying students were pretty typical of today’s high school kids.

Rather amazed that the school was so problem-free, I asked a final question: “Have there been any student suicides lately?”

The administrator’s answer stunned me: “No more than most high schools these days,” he replied. “We’ve had just about one a year for the past few years.”

I stared in disbelief: that was an incredibly high rate for any school, but especially for a smaller school.  What could possibly be causing so many kids to end their lives?

“Are bullying and cliques a problem?” I asked.

“No problem,” he said. “Though the principal did tell me a parent has been complaining about her son always being picked on. But I don’t think it’s any big deal.”

I pursued it anyway:  “How does she say he’s picked on?”

During the next minutes I listened aghast as the school official told me the mother’s concerns. Apparently a few of the other male students had been taunting the fifteen-year-old for several weeks by calling him some pretty vicious names.  The mother reported the incidents to the teachers, but nothing was done. Then, last week the boys took a lawn mower to the hill behind the school and cut the grass to spell out “fag” in huge letters to publicly humiliate him.

“Now the mother said her son won’t go to school,” the administrator said, shaking his head. “You know, boys will be boys. That mother just has to loosen her strings and let her kid grow up.”

I was appalled.

How could such obvious harassment be so accepted, and how could one child’s emotional distress be so denied?

Has meanness become so commonplace that we just ignore it as a fact of life?

Are we just assuming all kids will be cruel or go through some mean phase they’ll grow out of?

Or are we just throwing in the towel and figuring we can’t do anything about the spread of kid cruelty?

Come on folks! This is cold-blooded, peer cruelty and children’s lives were talking about!

Alarming Rise in Childhood Cruelty

Our children are born with the capacity to be kind and empathetic but unless we nurture it, those glorious traits will lie dormant. Intentional parenting for kindness is key! Remember, cruelty, bullying and violent behaviors are learned. So too are kindness, respect, tolerance, peacefulness and empathy. And we have work to do!

The facts about the rise of children’s cruelty are alarming. Although unkindness may not result in visible bruises, studies show it can leave lasting emotional scars and tear away the fabric of moral growth. If we can learn anything from these troubling reports, it is just how destructive cruelty is and will continue to be until we commit to fervently applying the best-known cures for halting it: empathy and kindness.

Nurturing the essential virtue of kindness may well be the best way to protect our kids from experiencing the writhing pain of peer harassment as well as improving their chances of living in a kinder and more moral world.

We haven’t a moment to lose. Roll up your sleeves and let’s get started.

Our first step: Help kids understand what kindness is (and please don’t assume all kids do–especially in today’s world when cruelty and bullying are so openly flaunted).

Four Ways to Nurture Children’s Kindness

Just how much influence do we have in nurturing kindness in kids? Here’s the latest verdict from researchers:

Those parents who are kind and who have taught their children to be kind will most likely have kind children.

When children understand that kindness can make a difference, they will be more likely to incorporate that behavior in their own lives.

The best place to start is not with them– but with us. If we really want our kids to be caring, we need to make the virtue a priority in our own lives and then reinforce it in our children. The four strategies that follow are ones that experts agree are some of the most effective ways to begin to help kids understand kindness.

1. Consciously model kindness

Your child learns a great deal about morality simply by your behavior. That’s why it’s so important to model what you want your child to copy. If you want your child to be kind whenever you are together, consciously demonstrate kind behavior. We tend to do kind behaviors so naturally that our children may miss them, so deliberately tune them up.

There are so many daily opportunities: watching your friend’s child, phoning a friend who is down, picking up trash, soothing a child, giving directions, asking someone how she is, baking cookies for your family. After performing the kindness, be sure to tell your child how good it made you feel!

By seeing kindness through your daily words and deeds and hearing you emphasize how being kind makes you feel good, your child will be much more likely to follow your example. The old saying, Children learn what they live, has a lot of truth to it.

2. Expect and then demand kindness

Spell out loudly and clearly your expectation that others must be treated kindly. It sets a standard for your child’s expected conduct and also lets her know in no uncertain terms what you value.

Nancy Eisenberg, author of The Caring Child, found that parents who express their views about hurtful, unkind behavior and then explain why they feel that way tend to have kids who adopt those views.

So state your belief to children again and again and again: “Unkindness is wrong, it’s hurtful, and it will not be tolerated!”

3. Teach the meaning of kindness

One of the most important steps in teaching kindness is making sure kids know what kindness means, and it’s a step too often overlooked. So take time to define the virtue.

You might say, “Kindness means you are concerned about other people. Kind people think about another person’s feelings, not just their own. They help someone who is in need, and they are kind even when others are not. Kind people never expect anything in return. They just treat other people kindly because they want to help make someone’s life better. Kindness makes the world a nicer place, because it makes people happier. And it’s a virtue I want you to always use.”

Consider making and hanging up a poster that lists or depicts kind deeds your family can do for one another. It will serve as a constant reminder of simple ways to make the world a little better.

4. Show what kindness looks like

You can do this activity with your child any time you are together in a place filled with people: a store, the airport, a mall, or the school grounds. Tell her that the object is to look for people who show kindness to others. She is to watch to see what the kind person did to show someone he was concerned or that he cared, and then to observe the recipient of the kindness. Many teachers assign students to do a “kindness watch” sometime during the day then ask them to share their observations with the rest of the class. The teachers tell me that doing the activity always increases their students’ kindly behaviors because they have the chance to really see what kind people do and say and the effect the virtue has on others.

These are just four proven strategies to get you started. I’ll keep sharing more. Remember your parenting goal here is to help your child adopt that virtue from the inside out so a one-time family chat about being kind isn’t going to cut it. Look for ongoing opportunities to help your child not only understand what kindness is, that you value and expect it.

Why Kids Bully

Is a bully, a bystander, a victim or some combination?

Contributed by Michele Borba, CEP board member

 

It’s not easy to know that your child is bullying.

It’s hard to admit that your kid is using aggression.

But to allow bullying behaviors to continue will be disastrous to your child’s character, conscience, reputation, well-being and mental health.

No matter the age, gender, religion, or ethnicity, any child resorting to bullying needs an immediate behavior intervention.

Please do not make the mistake of thinking that bullying just “a phase” or a “rite of passage.” Behaviors and attitudes turn into habits and can easily be entrenched and much harder to change. Now is the time to help your child.

A key to changing bullying is to uncover what is motivating the child’s behavior. Each child is different and multiple factors may play into bullying so a “one-size fits all” remedy will not work.

Best intervention plans are based on the “medical model approach.” Doctors don’t give the same medication to every patient. They first identify the symptoms, and then diagnose the reason so they can use the right treatment. The wrong diagnosis means the wrong treatment, and that means your child won’t improve.

The good news is because bullying is a learned behavior it can also be unlearned. The sooner you begin, the greater your success!

Figuring Out Why a Child Bullies

Jot down your ideas helps you see a pattern in your child’s behavior you may overlook.

Roll up your sleeves and let’s get started! I’ll give you solutions, but your first step is to figure out the “why.”

Get a notebook to jot down your thoughts as I help you figure out how to help your child.

You may not need to go through all of these steps. Use those tips that help you most.

Do not expect overnight turnarounds, but know this is doable!

Also, please know that there is no one reason why a child bullies.

Each child is different, and there is no one behavior intervention plan that will work for all kids.

What’s key is to figure out what might be triggering your child’s aggressive behavior. Only then will you be able to develop a specific plan to turn the behavior around.

This may take time. You probably need others to help you develop a plan, but hang in there!

Identify the Reason

Your first step is to determine why your child is using this behavior. What might be triggering your child’s behavior?

Here are a few of the top reasons why kids bully. Could any apply to your child? Think through each item carefully. What is your best guess as to why your child is using aggressive behaviors? There may be another reason beyond this list which you can add to the end.

Your child has been allowed to get away with bullying. Adults are turning a blind eye to the behavior. Or have bullying or aggressive behaviors been rewarded or encouraged? Does your child need firmer limits and monitoring?

Your child has been handed too harsh discipline, too rigid or strict, “conditional” love. Is your child using bullying is as exaggerated need for attention or respect? Does your child need a warm, loving parent?

Your child uses aggression to gain rank, attention, power or show “toughness.” Perhaps she lacks social skills, feels rejected or isolated by peers, and is trying to fit in. Research also finds the urge for popularity — especially for kids on the second tier of the social rung – is a bully motivator. Might this be your child? Does she need to learn social skills or find ways to make and keep friends appropriately?

Your child’s empathy – or feeling for others capacity – has not been encouraged or nurtured at home. Did he have an early trauma or depression, which may inhibit the development of empathy and need counseling? Might your family need to tune up compassion? Is empathy not expected?

Your child is hanging with a group who believes it’s “cool to be cruel.” Could he be mimicking other kids? A child’s social network can inhibit or encourage bullying behaviors. Does he need a new group of pals?

Your child has been bullied and is seeking protection. Could he be serving as henchman for another bully out of fear of being victimized himself? Does he need to learn appropriate assertive skills?

Your child lacks coping skills and is impulsive, unable to control anger, and has a natural tendency to “act out.” Does he need anger management skills?

Your child has adopted the view that aggression is acceptable. Could he be watching television shows, movies and video or computer games that glamorize aggression and cruelty and the exposure affects his behavior and attitude? Has his aggression been reinforced or even encouraged by others? Is he watching others who are aggressive?

Your child… What other reasons could your child be bullying?

Uncover the Cause

Watch your child closer. I know it’s hard to be objective about your child, but try to keep an open mind so you can uncover what’s really going on.

Ask others who care about your child and see him or her in other social situations for their input.

Watch your child in different social settings. Bullying does not happen in all situations and with all kids, so check into each situation. Then answer these next questions:

• Where is this behavior happening most often?
• Where is the behavior not happening? Why? What’s different in those spots?
• Are there certain adults or peers involved in situations where bullying is more frequent?
• What about the time of days?
• How frequently does this happen?

Do the questions help you see any pattern? It sometimes helps if you keep a journal to jot down notes to review.

What is your best guess as to what is triggering the bullying?  Don’t worry if you still don’t know. Just move on to the next step.

Get Your Child’s Take

Now get your child’s take on the situation.

Your role is to try and discover what might be bothering your child or triggering this behavior so you can help, so listen carefully and try to gather facts.

For instance:

• Was he falsely accused?
• Could he be the victim of bullying himself?
• Was he trying to protect himself?
• Is this the only way he can figure out how to find a friend?

Ask: “What do the other kids think about your behavior?”

Ask: “What would your teacher say is the reason you are doing this?”

Ask: “What help do you need to stop?”

Be calm and nonjudgmental as you try to uncover your child’s real motivation. Listen twice as much as you talk.

Keep in mind that your child probably won’t be able to put in words what’s triggering the behavior.

Also, keep in mind that bullies often deny their actions or blame the other kid. You may need to call witnesses to help you get the most accurate picture.

You will need to be the detective.

Dig Deeper

Still unclear? These details will help you piece together what is going on to help prevent a reoccurrence. Ask yourself these questions:

• Where and when did the bullying first happen? Think back…way back.
• What started it? What was going on in your child’s life at the time? Is there anything that might have triggered the behavior?
• Which kids were involved? Which adults were present in your child’s life?
• Were there any adult witnesses that might be able to provide clues?

Create a Plan to Turn Bullying Around

Once you determine what preempted the offense (he uses aggression to make friends, to protect himself, for revenge, to try to look cool), your next step is to work together to try and create an immediate first solution. The objective isn’t to let your child off the hook, but to develop alternatives it won’t happen again. For example:

Problem: He bullies for protection.

Solution: Avoid the spot your child is most likely to be bullied by others; find an older child who can look out for your kid. (See Bully-Proofing Strategies for Kids)

Problem: She bullies to seek power to find friends.

Solution: Find other social avenues where your child can make a new friend; teach her friendship-making skills to boost her social competence. For instance: How to start a conversation, lose gracefully, ask permission or solve problems peacefully. Then target and teach one new skill at a time by showing your child the new strategy and then practicing it until your child can use it alone. (See Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, by yours truly and Helping Kids Find, Make and Keep Friends).

Problem: He bullies due to inability to control anger.

Solution: Teach specific anger management strategies (See Anger Management for Kids and Helping Kids Cool Hot Tempers).

Problem: She bullies because she is mimicking other children.

Solution: Watch with whom your kid pals around. Also, check out the day care center, sports teams or other after-school programs your child is enrolled in. Ask teachers for recommendations for a peer group who won’t feed into the behavior.

Problem: He bullies because he doesn’t recognize or care that his behavior is causing his victim distress.

Solution: Boost empathy by asking him to “Switch Places” and pretend to be the victim. Then ask: “How would you feel if someone said that about you?” Tell or read a story in the about a child who is victimized. Consider doing community service as a family. Food drives, picking up trash in the park, painting battered women’s shelters, serving meals at homeless shelters or delivering meals to sick and elderly folks who are housebound are just a few options.

Problem: He bullies because he has a surplus of energy that often is acted out.

Solution: Offer positive alternatives to channel her aggression such as karate, boxing, swimming, jazzercise, weight lifting, soccer, football, or the marching band. But find a physical outlet for your kid to direct his strength and be also praised for his effort.  Also, make sure you teach strategies to help control his anger. (See Helping Kids Cool Hot Tempers).

Once you think you have an idea about the motivation behind your child’s behavior, refer to the specific chapter in my book for solutions in: The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries or on my website: Michele Borba and refer to the articles in the Bullying section.

Don’t be frustrated! This will take time. Keep a diary of your notes. Keep talking to others who know and care about your child.

Above all, don’t give up!

Character Education: “Not a quick fix, but well worth the effort”

Katie Hood, Web Content Coordinator for CEP

Being a relatively new CEP staff member (I started in Sept.), I’m still learning a lot about character education. I know the basics now – start small, get leadership on board, engage your out-of-school community – but I am still amazed when I hear the National Schools of Character stories. True learning happens in these schools because students want to learn, teachers want to teach, and parents and community members support them.

I recently listened to a radio show that discusses issues in American education. This day’s particular show focused on character education, and featured CEP’s National Schools of Character director Lara Maupin, and Crestwood Elementary School (MO) principal Scott Taylor.

The most striking thing I realized while listening to the show was that the most common issues in education: bullying, poor academic performance, pressure for students to reach test scores rather than truly learn just aren’t issues at NSOCs.

Scott talked about how his school earned the “Nobel Prize of Education,” according to his superintendent. His school was the only school in 2011 to be distinguished as a Blue Ribbon School and also a National School of Character. He said in the show, “It’s a tremendous honor –really the highest honor you can achieve in education – and certainly we would not have accomplished that without the character program that we have in place.”

That struck a chord with me because the correlation is really becoming clear about how character education relates to students doing better and being better. They said that teachers have more time to teach when they use character education as the foundation of their pedagogy. Students hold themselves and each other accountable to the virtues and values that they establish as important in their school. These values are typically respect, responsibility, honesty, doing your best – standards that most agree are positive. That way, teachers can spend their time teaching instead of disciplining students’ bad behavior.

It is important, they say, for the school community (students, parents, teachers, administrators, community leaders) to all discuss and reach consensus about the values taught. There is no one-size-fits-all character education program that works for everyone, but there are principles that can help guide all schools in providing quality character education. And these principles work for all types of schools – urban, rural, suburban, rich, poor, middle-income, minority, homogeneous, you name it.

Character education is not an add-on. It’s the foundation. And “when parents, staff, and students come together – great things happen,” says Principal Taylor. The proof is in the 170 NSOCs. Lara says, “In all of our NSOCs, we’ve seen the metrics go in the right direction, for both academic and discipline and behavior.”

Listening to this show really helped me understand how effective, comprehensive character education can be a part of the reform so obviously needed in American schools.

You Got A Case

Marvin Berkowitz, of the University of Missouri's Center for Character & Citizenship

I was recently asked how to convince people that character education actually works.  The cynicism, skepticism, and conservativism out there often astounds me.  Amy Johnston, the award-winning principal of 2008 National School of Character Francis Howell Middle School (St. Charles, MO), expresses the same frustration.

As the character education pioneer in her district, she often presents a comparison of her school’s academic and character data as compared with the other four middle schools in her district.  Even early in her character education journey, she started to see her school pull away from the other four in both areas.

When other educators noticed the results she was getting, they began to ask for her secrets.  She answered “character education.” To which they typically replied “No. Really.  What did it?”  So she would explain how she used character education to rethink and reform her school and would describe the specific initiatives she enacted, like looped, multi-aged “homerooms” and a collaboratively-generated set of four core values with a corresponding rubric crafted in part by students.  And they would shake their heads and walk away seemingly disappointed.  So she laments “they see the data, I tell them what we did, and they don’t believe it.  What more can I do?”

Amy’s frustration mirrors the frustration of many educators who believe in character education and base their beliefs on hard data.  I hear all too often that “there is no research on character education.”  Well that is patently inaccurate.

In 2005, in collaboration with the Character Education Partnership and the support of the John Templeton Foundation, Mindy Bier and I published What Works in Character Education.  It was a result of our attempt to find the holes in the literature; i.e., to generate an agenda for needed future research by mapping what little was known and then prescribing new research.

We were stunned by how much research existed.  We found over 200 recent studies.  We reviewed them, especially 69 scientifically rigorous studies showing the effectiveness of quite a wide range of character education initiatives, and drew conclusions from them about effective practice.  While the newest studies in that report are now 8 years old, it still has legs and is cited frequently (yesterday I received a Google alert that it had just been cited in Malaysia).

And WWCE is not the only such source of evidence.  The US Department of Education included character education in its What Works Clearinghouse and found many effective programs.  In addition, other related areas have similar sets of convincing data.  The Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning published both a program review of 80 social-emotional learning programs and more recent meta-analysis of 213 such programs.

In parallel there are reviews of service learning, positive psychology, and various prevention curricula, many of which are also included in the WWCE, WWC, and CASEL reviews.  Separately or together, they point to the same conclusions:

• Character education can and does work
• The effects are broad ranging
• What you do and how well you do it matter

One of the most persistent push-backs we get is the assumption that time on character education (or social emotional learning etc.) is time away from academics.  In other words, many educators seem to assume that this is a zero-sum game; more character education means less learning.  This is about inaccurate as could be.  I will make two points about this:

• Good character education is good education.  The basic  tenets of effective character education, as delineated in the CEP Eleven Principles of Effective Character Education, but also throughout the effective practices literature in education, focuses on school climate, relationships, and a purpose- and value-driven school.  They are the same principles advocated in effective schools and in character education.In a recent study of nations that are particularly successful in academic education outcomes (and the US is not one of them), it was concluded that “Although all these countries are concerned about developing the unprecedented levels of cognitive and noncognitive skills required by the global economy, they are no less concerned about social cohesion, fairness, decency, tolerance, personal fulfillment, and transmission of values that they feel define them as a nation.  In many cases, these discussions of national goals have laid the base for profound changes in the design of national education systems” (Tucker, 2011, p. 173).

  Clearly the US has much to learn about education from this, for it is concluded that the research on these high success countries includes no evidence that any of them have gotten there “by implementing any of the major agenda items that dominate the education reform agenda in the United States, with the exception of the Common Core State Standards” (p, 209).

• Research shows that character education promotes academic achievement.  This makes sense because of the overlap in methods with effective schools and because common sense tells us that when students like school, feel a valued member of the school community, and feel that they are co-owners and co-authors of their educational experiences, they are more motivated and self-managed, and hence perform better, both academically and behaviorally.In a study of 120 California elementary schools, Jack Benninga and I and our colleagues found a strong association between character education and state test scores.   CASEL’s meta-analysis shows the same finding, as have many other studies and reviews.  And case studies abound.  One merely needs to look at the CEP website’s thumbnails of National Schools of Character to see example after example.

  Perhaps no case is more compelling than that of Ridgewood Middle School (Arnold, MO), which Charles Haynes and I reported in USA Today on February 20, 2007.  Simply by transforming the horribly negative school culture of a failing school by using character education principles, they moved from state test scores with only 30% success in communication arts and 7% success in mathematics in 2000 to 68% in communication arts and 71% in mathematics.

So can we make a case for the effectiveness of character education?  I think I just did.  And there is so much more evidence that I don’t have room to present here.  Character education is good education as such it promotes healthy schools, the positive development of students, and academic excellence.  And the data support it.  If your doctor presented this kind of evidence of effectiveness of a treatment for you, you would not hesitate.  Character education is what this doctor prescribes for our youth, our schools, our nation, and our world.

When Legal Isn’t Enough: Penn State’s Administrators’ Moral Character Issues

Joe Paterno, head football coach of the Nittany Lions for 45 years, lost his job after failing to report child sex abuse to legal authorities. He did alert proper university authorities.

As you have probably heard by now, Penn State’s illustrious football program is in shambles following allegations that several boys were molested by Jerry Sandusky, former defensive coordinator, in a Penn State facility as part of a program hosted by the school.

The school officials’ decision not to report the assault to the police is disappointing, shocking, and unfathomable for many.

The events are not only an embarrassment to the school, but raise serious issues about the school’s quality of ethics in its leaders. The university fired legendary coach Joe Paterno and several other high-ranking officials since they failed to report the abuse to authorities.

A letter from Penn State University president Rodney Erickson stated his commitment to reinforce the moral imperative of doing the right thing, to lead by example, to be transparent during investigations, to respect the victims and their families, and to provide resources to help prevent future attacks.

Sadly, however, this is not the first time Penn State (and other colleges and universities nationally) has turned a blind eye to sexual offenses. It’s common practice, according to a 2010 report by the Center for Public Integrity.

46 forcible sex offenses were reported at Penn State from 2008-2010 as part of the Clery Act, yet only two were deemed actual offenses by Pennsylvania State Police. No arrests were made.

So the questions are:

How do we ensure that our leaders lead with integrity? That power is held through doing what is morally and ethically correct? That our children are raised in a world of upstanders instead of bystanders and abusers?

How are you starting the conversation in your classrooms or homes? Does one bad act make someone a bad person? How is character fostered, and how can it be shattered? What’s more important: reputation or character?

What can character educators and leaders do to better stress doing what is morally and ethically right, rather than just doing what is legal?

Matthew Davidson, leading researcher and expert on excellence and ethics, posted an interesting and insightful reaction to this case. Read it here.

Share your thoughts here. We care what you have to say!

Veterans Day – A Teachable Moment

 by Joseph W. Mazzola President & CEO

I had the great fortune of being raised by a loving family. They instilled in me certain values that shaped me into the person I am today. None of the adults in my family had much of a formal education though. My grandfather, for example, came to our country at the age of 10 with about a fifth grade education. He was a water boy on the railroad and later became a shoemaker.

My father never graduated from high school either. He fixed wrecked cars for a living and eventually owned his own shop–“Mazzola’s Body Shop.” It never had running water or central heat. During the winter, he burned coal in a pot-belly stove to warm the place up. I loved hanging out at his shop, and I learned a lot, too. Most people don’t know it, but I’ve painted cars, changed engines, installed transmissions, and I still service my own vehicles. In fact, I’m doing a brake job on my son’s car this weekend.

Oh. I forgot to mention why my dad never graduated from high school. He quit at the start of his senior year to go fight in World War II with his older brothers. You see, service to the nation was just one of the values stressed in our family. Since that was the case, it was an easy decision for me to enlist in the Air Force when I got older, even though it was very unpopular at the time.

Although I planned on doing my hitch and then moving on, I ended up spending more than 25 years in uniform. I did so because I loved being part of something meaningful, I loved working with honorable men and women, and I loved the fact that my organization stressed many of the same values I learned at home: Integrity, Service and Excellence.

Every year in November we celebrate Veterans Day. This year, encourage your students to reach out to veterans in your community. Besides having them thank the vets for their service, have them ask about the core values the vets lived by and how those values impacted their personal character. And, after Veterans Day, have the students share what they learned. I think you’ll find this can be a powerful character-building experience…and that’s what all good character educators look for!

Thanks for all you do to develop young men and women of good character for our world.

Technology and Character Education

By Lindsey Wright

The use of technology has been a growing force in education. Once, classrooms were relatively isolated, nestled into a school in a suburb, small town or city. Now, regardless of physical location, today’s students have access to the larger world through the Internet. However, the focus of education itself has not necessarily changed.

Educating has always been about preparing students to be successful citizens, in whatever way possible. Strong reading, writing and math skills continue to be important, as does character. Being able to get along with others, having self-control and patience, being honest and trustworthy: these have always been traits teachers have hoped to instill in their students, and that remains true today.

Strong character is essential in the use of technology used for classroom learning. The Internet itself is a wide source of knowledge, as well as being the gateway to further content. As students attending traditional and online schools alike begin to use the Internet more and more for research, they need to learn how to utilize this tool in an ethical manner. Thus, teachers should inform students how to find credible websites when working on research projects as well as how to properly cite their sources in order to avoid plagiarism. Teaching students how to use the Internet responsibly early on will not only help students academically but also teach them to respect the work of others.

Good character is also imperative when using the Internet in a more social way. As students interact on the web, they are becoming digital citizens. Just as they must learn to adapt to their role as members of their school community, they must learn that, when they participate online, they are creating an identity representing themselves, and possibly their school.

The use of social networking has the potential to create problems, as students use sites like Facebook to connect and communicate. As a result, issues such as gossip and bullying are no longer left behind when the school day ends, since student communication continues online. Bullying, in particular, has reached new levels with the advent of cyberbullying. Luckily, there are several things students, parents and teachers can do to prevent this. A website created to help promote positive interaction on the Internet gives some excellent tips.

While there are potential problems in the use of technology, it is an excellent instructional tool for developing good character. Social interactions within the school, in the classroom, in the cafeteria and on the playground have always provided excellent teaching opportunities. The Internet simply provides another venue. Teachers can teach proper behavior and take opportunities to get involved and correct when needed. Finally, teachers can model good behavior by considering what they say online, and being cognizant that nothing is private on the Internet.

With the increase in the use of technology, a focus on the basics of good character must be maintained. Being able to interact well with others has always been crucial, but perhaps even more so now, as students are conversing with people across the world, and of many different backgrounds and races. As the world gets smaller, being able to participate in that world in a positive way is more than important than ever.

This post was written by guest contributor Lindsey Wright, a freelance writer who is fascinated with the potential of emerging educational technologies, particularly the online school, to transform the landscape of learning. She writes about web-based learning, electronic and mobile learning, and the possible future of education.

To learn more about educating students for digital citizenship, don’t miss the keynote panel at the upcoming National Forum on Character Education and the remarks of digital citizenship expert, Dr. Jason Ohler.

Where Gardens Grow Character

We believe gardening in schools is a necessity.

Most of us probably know that school gardens are a great teaching tool that can be used to enrich curriculum and improve physical health, but we believe in gardens as a way to grow character.  We see this everyday in our garden.

We see children sharing, working hard, and being kind. We watch kids grow responsibility as well as vegetables. We see kids engaged, excited, motivated, and proud of their school.  We watch as kids make connections between their school, their community, and the planet.

New research published by the Royal Horticulture Society (and who knows gardening better!) shows that as well as helping children lead happier, healthier lives, gardening “helps them acquire the essential skills they need to fulfill their potential in a rapidly-changing world and make a positive contribution to society as a whole.”

In fact, evidence suggests that gardening can play such a vital role that we believe every child should be given the chance to experience the benefits. So we will be sharing what we’ve learned along the way- how to start and maintain a school garden, how gardens create opportunities to embed character education principles, and what kids, teachers, and families have to say about gardening at the 18th National Forum on Character Education.

Our presentation “Where Gardens Grow Character”  on Friday, Oct. 21 at 2:15 will include opportunities to share your school garden stories and you’ll walk away with: a list of gardening resources we’ve found helpful; a bibliography of garden research; and a hand made memento from our beloved garden.

Please join us!  Because gardening in schools is a necessity.

Posted by Susi Jones, Tricia Elisara, Nancy Younce, Julian Elementary School, a 2010 National School of Character

Resiliency in Youth: The Power of the Entrepreneur Mindset

Posted by Clifton L. Taulbert, member CEP’s Education Advisory Council

When I was 13, I was hired by “Uncle Cleve,” a local entrepreneur who lived in my Mississippi Delta hometown of Glen Allan, to work with him at his Ice House. I had to wait on customers, cut the ice into multiple sizes, make change and be quick about it. I had to learn to speak up and to be polite even when I didn’t feel it was required. Even though I was only 13, I was involved in man’s work.

I found myself surrounded by a mindset of “I can and I will” …the thesis of my recent book, “Who Owns the Ice House?” The environment was so powerful that it gave me a new way of thinking. I didn’t have to do what everyone else was doing.

I learned that my response to others mattered. I had to be at work on time. Uncle Cleve was not one to give multiple chances. He had rules and I had to learn them. Eventually, being at work on time became important to me. Looking back, I realize that was what he wanted. He wanted being timely to be my choice as well. He helped me to understand that my disposition and my work represented him and the company. It was not all about me.

I graduated from high school! Trust me that was big—just as important then as it is today. My personal behavior reflected what I was learning from this man.

I found it relatively easy to choose the right friends. In that “entrepreneurial environment” personal resiliency was being nurtured—my ability to make good choices and to embrace a positive self-esteem which is still critical for our youth today.

Many of our youth today are facing a myriad of challenges oftentimes without the wherewithal to make the right choice. Their mental models are not providing them the conversation they need to walk away from a potentially negative set of circumstances. Shifting this paradigm of thinking and behavior continues to be a top priority within our schools—developing programs to promote resiliency in our youth. It’s about giving them a new set of lens through which to view their world. Changing one’s perspective leads to thinking and acting differently. The entrepreneur mindset becomes a powerful tool to employ in this process.

My “Ice House” entrepreneur experience provided me-the opportunity to see myself differently, to see a future and to recognize the unique gifts Uncle Cleve was bringing into my life as we worked together day-in and day-out. This type of vision is what we want for all our youth, no matter the circumstances surrounding their lives.

In September, I will formally introduce “Uncle Cleve” and his entrepreneur mindset to several Baltimore High Schools who are part of Johns Hopkins University’s Talent Development High Schools and who will be participants in the Kauffman Foundation sponsored on-line “Ice House Entrepreneur Program.” These youth will become involved in a semester-long program to not only spark innovation and new business ideas, but to foster resiliency and quality decision-making skills. We want them to recognize that they have choices as they connect with the possibilities they may have thought to be beyond their reach.

Just as I embraced the timeless entrepreneurial lessons from the Ice House generations earlier, they too will experience a shift in perspective, a shift in thinking and a shift in behavior as well as a greater sense of self-determination which can lead to positive growth in their social and academic life.

Clifton Taulbert will be leading a hot topic discussion on resiliency at the 18th National Forum on Character Education along with Principal Cathy Areman and Guidance Counselor Kimberly Fitzpatrick of Catena Middle School, a 2011 National School of Character.

Start the School Year Off Right

Students set personal goals at the start of the year.

 A focus on the whole child and each child’s moral and social development pervades the program at Beauvoir the National Cathedral Elementary School, a 2011 National School of Character. The school invests a great deal of time and resources into the “social curriculum,” which is seen as being just as important as, and even part of, the academic curriculum.

All classes spend the first 6 weeks of the school year developing class norms according to the Responsive Classroom methodology. Part of this is the development of class constitutions, contracts, or promises.

Students also set specific personal goals called “hopes and dreams.” Both are posted and referred to regularly in each classroom. During daily morning meetings in each classroom, students greet each other, play a game together, share something of importance to one or more students, and read the morning message.

Even the youngest Beauvoir students start the year with learning the social curriculum in age-appropriate ways. When entering Pre-K, all students are given stuffed bears that they name, make clothes for, and then use for role playing throughout their first two years at Beauvoir. The bears are a tool to teach empathy teachers adapted from the book Bears, Bears, Everywhere by Luella Connelly.

Beauvoir is one of five cathedral schools located in the U.S. and one of three on the beautifully maintained grounds of the National Cathedral located in Washington, DC. Beauvoir is a private primary school, serving preschool aged children through third graders.

Beauvoir will be presenting at the 18th National Forum on Character Education in San Francisco, Oct. 19-22.